You look around the gym, catch another girl watching you, and immediately assume you must be doing something wrong. Or it’s a guy, and he kind of smiles, and you see pity for the new girl who is only holding a five-pound dumbbell. Or you don’t see anyone looking, but you feel exposed and you keep your head down.
As you start working out more, have you noticed that you don’t actually look around that much? Because you’re concentrating on your workout, you’re remembering what that girl did in that video, or trying to remember how to adjust a machine, or thinking about keeping your body still as you push the weight up from your body.
Other people who are in the gym to workout aren’t looking around either. You’ll catch some wandering eyes in some gyms, most of the time they are there to see and be seen, not to workout. You are there to workout, you’re getting things done, so who they see doesn’t matter; because if they are looking around that much, well then, not much is getting done.
Even experienced lifters need to concentrate to get a good workout. They are the ones with their headphones in, their phones in their pockets, staring at their hands between lifts, trying to prepare for the next one. The girl who keeps staring at you might just be wishing she was confident enough to come in by herself like you are. The guy is probably impressed that you’re holding a weight in your hand and visibly intent on getting stronger.
No one else in the gym is there to judge, and the real lifters are usually happy to see new people there. I’ve gotten some great tips over the years from someone who noticed me coming in for the first time, and smiled an encouragement, or flexed their arm at me to get me to laugh, or who walked by and asked if I was going to leave some weight for them to lift. They’d come back another day and ask me how I did something, or offer to show me a new exercise.
It took me a while to realize they weren’t mocking me, and they weren’t sitting there watching me either. They just noticed, decided to say hello, and went back to what they were doing. If I said hi back, I’d make an acquaintance that I could ask for help, or a workout buddy that wanted to meet me there tomorrow so we could teach each other what we knew.
As hard as it is to let your anxiety rest in a place so new and intimidating, focusing on what you’re doing and not everyone around you will lead you to not worry so much. Find some music you like and enjoy the beat while you lift. Focus on what you’re there for and how much you’ve improved. Before long, you might even find yourself making some friends.
Balance the Lift 